In the Arena
Teddy Roosevelt was famous for his confidence and his commitment to his actions. There are stories of his leadership during the Spanish-American War. There is another, possibly embellished, story about him being shot and finishing the speech he had planned. Despite all this, it is clear that he faced criticism, and he had to find ways to deal with it. In 1910, he gave another speech where he addressed this criticism. He contends that it is not the critic that matters, but the person who is “in the arena”. The person who strives to do something, rather than point out the flaws of others.
Just as Roosevelt experienced, criticism is inevitable in the human experience. Whether feedback on a work project, comments about our personal choices, or critiques of our creative endeavors, we all encounter criticism in various forms. While some feedback can be a valuable catalyst for growth and improvement, unwarranted or harsh criticism can be challenging to navigate. It can affect our self-esteem, influence our decisions, and sometimes even alter our life paths.
The ability to handle criticism effectively is a crucial skill that can significantly impact our success in life. Below are some things to keep in mind to help you determine if the critical voices are important to listen to, or would be better to ignore.
Looking at Criticism
1. Evaluate the source
Consider who is offering the criticism and their motivations. Is it someone whose opinion you value? Are they well-informed about the situation?
2. Separate valid points from unhelpful comments
Try to identify any constructive elements within the criticism, even if it's delivered harshly. Focus on these aspects rather than dismissing everything outright.
3. Respond calmly if you need to
When faced with criticism, take a moment before reacting. It’s likely a response is not needed. If is is respond thoughtfully rather than defensively, which can escalate tensions.
4. Seek clarification
If the criticism is vague, ask for specific examples. This can lead to more productive conversations and potential solutions.
5. Use it as a learning opportunity
Even if you disagree, consider whether there's anything you can learn from the feedback. Personal growth often comes from challenging perspectives.
6. Set boundaries
It's okay to distance yourself from persistent negativity, especially if it's impacting your well-being. Learn to say no to unconstructive criticism.
7. Practice self-compassion
Don't let criticism undermine your self-worth. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments.
8. Focus on your goals
Don't let criticism derail you from your objectives. Use it as motivation to improve, but stay true to your vision and values.
One Last Idea
Sometimes the issue with criticism and our ability to interpret it is proximity. When we are too close to the issue or the commenter, it can feel more urgent or more emotional. They always say not to look at the comments. For your posts about your work, this may be helpful, but I have found it useful to go to Facebook posts about policies that I have nothing to do with. A story about a road being changed. A rule being altered in a sport you don’t care about. Go to the comments and read a few. Run the comments through the options above. Consider if the comments are coming from someone who is in the arena. Is it from someone who would understand the full reality behind the decision? Likely not. If you look at a few, you will find the same names expressing opinions on health, construction, and industry. Quite the collection of Renaissance men and women.
Take note of your takeaways from these posts that you are not involved in. Next time you are getting comments about something you are close to, consider how many of the voices fall into the same group you discovered. There are always some voices you need to listen to and consider, but they probably won’t show up as off-handed comments on social media. Usually, the ones that matter most are already beside you. Working to make things better. In the arena.